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Bio YouTube.com/TweetActing Acting fills my void. Humor is my weapon of choice. twitter.com/search?q=from%… Tweets 135,5K Followers 29,3K Following 12,1K Account created 29-05-2015 19:09:49 ID 3303028623
Android : TwinzerDad Thanks! 👍👍
Android : I wasn’t planning on it but I may have to think today.
Android : My toddler was having a massive tantrum until she found a grape on the floor. She ate it, and forgot why she was crying. She was crying because she doesn't like grapes.
Android : My toddler asked me to give her chicken nuggets a checkup. After giving all the nuggets a medical exam I realized my toddler was asking for ketchup.
Android : I don’t know who needs to hear this but you don’t need to agree with a point for it to be valid.
Android : This pandemic was going great until they decided we could leave our house again.
Android : "Don't turn on the news"Me as a therapist
Android : Jodhiay 🐙 Heather Camfferman OMG 😳🤣🤣🤣
Android : The best way to avoid feeling crushing disappointment at your favourite sports team’s lack of success is by supporting the Cleveland Browns so it comes as no surprise.Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don't want you to know.
Android : The best way to avoid being left with the bill when dining out with friends is by not having any friends.Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don't want you to know.
Android : I have measured out my life with coffee spoons because fuck the metric system.
Android : I already met new people thanks.
Android : I quit watching How to Get Away With Murder a few seasons back because I didn’t feel like I was learning anything.
Android : (first date)Him: I saw something amazing on Facebook the other day... Me: *just gets up and leaves*
Android : Netflix and still not gonna happen.
Android : *pretends to throw ball*My dog: I’ve stopped believing your web of lies a long time ago.
Android : Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
Android : THIS FALL ON NBCThree ex-cops.One new P.I. firm.Many mysteries to solve.Abe Vigoda, Larry Wilcox & Erik Estrada are:"Fish 'n' CHiPs"
Android : NETFLIX: “Are you still watching?”
Android : I spend approximately 8 hours per day screaming at my television.
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