Abbie(@AbbieEvansXO) 's Twitter Profileg
Abbie

@AbbieEvansXO

Writer of queer fantasy. SPFBO finalist. In lieu of dick pics please send dog pics.

ID:2184648072

linkhttps://www.amazon.com/Mysterious-Ways-Viatanesian-Mysteries-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B09BVN7FX9 calendar_today09-11-2013 16:39:05

4,2K Tweets

19,0K Followers

510 Following

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From April 15th, the only people in the 'for you' section will be people who get onto the subway pushing past everyone getting off

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American pub names: “Joe’s”, “Bill’s”, “Steve’s”

British pub names: “the Horse and Swan,” “the Cat and Custard Pot,” “the Drunken
Duck”

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love it when the performer compliments us for being a great audience. damn straight. my 'sitting here and watching you' skills are, quite frankly, outstanding

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forget the walk of shame, the real shame is the email of shame: “oops, forgot to attach the document, here it is”

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sorry I took so long to reply. your text was right at that ambiguous midway point between warranting a reply and not warranting a reply and I was paralysed with indecision

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when you see people going about their daily lives being all hello how are you i am fine and sipping tea and adjusting their ties, you gotta remember they are all just cosplaying being normal people

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they should edit the roald dahl books just to clarify what the situation was with charlie's grandparents, swinger-wise

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hello yes I always steal my coworkers' lunches from the office fridge. also, I am incredibly offended everyone calls me the office lunch thief

hello yes I always steal my coworkers' lunches from the office fridge. also, I am incredibly offended everyone calls me the office lunch thief
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“I want something good to happen today,” I tell myself, trying to be positive.

“Lol,” says the universe, calmly, and then more quietly: “Lmao.”

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just missed my chance to escape from a conversation when there was a lull in it. now I have to wait for the the next lull

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Pride and Prejudice but it's from the point of view of the housekeeper who has to listen to the Bennets go on and on about being poor while she serves them tea and scrubs their floors and empties their chamber pots

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onions are the sadists of the vegetable world, determined to reduce everyone to tears. potatoes are melancholy creatures, always wallowing in desolation. peas just want to have fun

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How to find out the time in five easy steps

Step 1: check the time
Step 2: wait two seconds
Step 3: recheck the time because you already forgot
Step 4: repeat step two
Step 5: repeat step three

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they need to invent some sort of vision device that enables you to see better when you've lost your glasses and can't see to find them

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in the 18th century it would take map makers thousands of hours to painstakingly draw maps without technology, only to have some jerk in a cloak stride in and stab it with a dagger

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the struggle (agonising over whether to reply yup, yep, yes, yeah, or yea depending on what the vibe calls for) is real

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Book lovers, the 2022 Holiday Mega Sale is on right now, featuring hundreds of books at 99c or free. There's a huge range of incredible books in there, and every sale raises money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital!

reddit.com/r/Fantasy/comm…

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