Might fuck around and reply 'that sounds like a you problem' to every work email today.

After lunch, the rest of the work day just unnecessary

saying 'it's okay' instead of throwing a chair on them

The sexual tension between me and getting the fuck outta here.

Can the men throw the tea in the harbor again or something im tired of paying taxes

before buying something online, ask yourself: do I want to get an email from this company for the rest of my life?

me, in a new city after one sip of coffee: “I could live here”

we’re letting dogs into too many establishments

The Ford Bronco marketing team has a chance to do the best throwback Thursday video of all time.

A movie can have the most messed up content and plot and Mexican grandparents be like “Que pelicula bonita”

When new parents tell me their baby's dimensions what exactly am I supposed to do with this information?

fucked up in the crib watching bob l’éponge

So many times throughout the day I feel like that Ben Affleck smoking meme.

sometimes i daydream about being the unemployed friend at 3pm

Twitter during that Bronco chase would have been gold

me: “never again”

also me: *agains*

i whisper “the fuck” to myself at least 10 times a day