Flying out of Memphis and into the Sahara Desert

View from the office. (He missed the putt)

Me talking to this airplane: babe you look great. Please just taxi real quick and we can get out of here. I swear

If you’re tired have some coffee, if you’re in pain take some aspirin. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

If you post a run on Strava that I know is boring just know I’m actively judging you as a person

This team has given me the greatest sports experience of my life.

Can’t wait for this weekend. It’s feeling a lot like ‘83.

Manager: don't boil the ocean
Me:

If the RX side effects list rhymed 💊

Sir I don't think you understand. I'm standing on bidness

Cumberbunds. What's the deal with them?

I feel like there has to be a failed baseball player to juggler pipeline

All things considered I'm happy for NC State. Big for those guys

They just let you do this? The kid is electric but this move is literally unstoppable

Hot boy shit. Stay mad

The world would be even better if Lorde got the fame that Taylor Swift did

Fool me three or so times, shame on me. Cheesecake Factory keeps undercooking their chicken

Trying out for the New York Jets! Help me pick a position

Gosh dang