look, i can be sane or i can be hot…make a decision

You can’t force chemistry, can’t deny it either.

In an average lifetime people eat around 70 assorted insects while sleeping.
…. including about 10 spiders

Ummmm…maybe this is an ad for insomnia 🤪

“GOT to find a way to make you in that outfit in pill form. Corner the viagra and mind numbing spontaneous orgasm market“

EVERYONE needs a friend that says stuff like this to them! 😂

It’s impossible for most people to lick their own elbows…. You’re trying it right now, aren’t you 😉

Just try to do more of what makes you happy 🖤

My favorite language is Dad Jokes.

Good morning 😊

I may not be perfect but parts of me are pretty awesome 🖤

Maybe I am old fashioned but I like dates. I like healthy communication. I like room to grow. I like quality time. I like reassurance. I like reciprocated energy.

I would do some dirty dirty things for a big bag of M&Ms right now

I absolutely lovethe sound of thunder on a nice crisp November evening

Select me to be a part of your inner circle and I’ll be with you until the very end. It’s an honor and a privilege that I hold dear.

Is the unicorn seriously the National animal of Scotland?

#NewProfilePic

I can not like the word “horny” it feels yucky when I say it.