It's Beltane, the sun is shining and I'm ovulating, and I should be feeling tip top today.

But NO. Money worries got me stressed as all hell.

Still looking for work team. Anyone want to pay me to do anything? I can do a lot of things.

Oh god. Fingering, but your fingers make the noise that Fred Flintstone's toes make when he goes bowling.

Show of hands; who still refers to it as the Millennium Dome?

👋

This had me giggling like an idiot.

I think discovering new things about my body in my mid thirties.

Yesterday I learned that milled flaxseed will cause extreme nausea and projectile vomiting.

Fucking seeds mate! What.

The irony of running through Africa and then fraternising with this dickhead who wants to deport people to Rwanda. Fuck sake.

Argh my phone has updated and everything feels ✨️✨️different✨️✨️

I find this alarming and distressing.

This is definitely a war crime

Honestly, if my boyfriend doesn't want to make me cups of tea throughout the day he shouldn't be so good at making cups of tea 🙄

I really, REALLY enjoyed this.

Makes me think of pub gardens in Wales with my cousins; and a bottle of babycham to share between us (it was the 90s). Ngl, I DO want to drink some out of a branded coupe now.

Awesome work rachel hendry and Pellicle

I thought my boyfriend was the most romantic man I've met but he's never had a jigsaw of my face made... so I guess I was wrong.

Of course I'm familiar with The Tortured Poets Department!

like no offense but to be a taylor swift fan it seems like you have to be completely unaware of any music that came before to see her as a genius

Decided to get into shibari. Thought it would be a good idea to add another string to my beau.

Selma Blair is a really odd casting choice for Cruel Intentions.

Traditional wedding anniversary gifts by year:

1. pleather
2. raffia
3. Butylphenyl Methylpropional
4. bitumen
5. ASDA Smart Price® Batter Mix
6. trilby
7. BT wi-fi with FON
8. mulch
9. Jamie Oliver’s “Cookin’: Music To Cook By” (CD)
10. krill