Seconds after the card game rules are explained

best tweet ever written

Alexander Armstrong trying to make conversation with contestants on Pointless

Hugh Dennis is on Pointless so every time they zoom out to show both him and Alexander Armstrong I think there’s a continuity error.

Dropped by your school earlier. Everyone hopes you're doing well

“Flo remember who you are”
I mean good advice, I would absolutely forget my own name if I was placed in front of any of these interviewers for 30 seconds. #TheApprentice

🍉 ON SALE NOW! 🍉

STAND-UP FOR GAZA live from Vicar St in aid of The PCRF (Palestine Children's Relief Fund) with Irish Artists For Palestine is now on sale. Would be great to see you there, grab some tickets and help raise as much as we can!

Tickets priced €29 including booking are available at ticketmaster.ie/stand-up-for-g…

🎶I’m just shoe
Anywhere else I’d be a two 🎶

Myself and a few other Irish standups are doing a gig in Vicar street in aid of the PCRF who provide free medical care to thousands of injured and ill children in Gaza.

Tickets on sale tomorrow at 10am:

ticketmaster.ie/stand-up-for-g…

Me: Imagine if every tear was an egg and every time you started crying there was 10-50 broken eggs on you. You leave a funeral and it’s like “crunch crunch crunch” (if the person was beloved).

Genie: That's your wish?

Me: No, we're just talking. Just being Friends right now.

Any scale where nursing is less valuable to society than economics can be fairly handily ignored I think

I saw this on ig so now you also have to see it.

★ ★ 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗗 ★ ★

Cherry Comedy at Whelan's 🍒 is bringing 'Stand-Up For Gaza' gig to Vicar St🇵🇸

Some of the biggest names in Irish comedy will come together & all net proceeds will go directly to the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund.

🎟️ On sale This Thurs at 10am! 🎉

As much as I like the idea of being a parent it takes months before your baby is able to smile. I don’t think I could handle dying on my arse for that long. I need to know if the baby thinks I’m funny.

This happen to anyone else?

Some actually very good advice because I was gonna buy straws

Lots of people recommending Kin mouthwash as if I don’t already own all Kin merch