school run. still not well. i stand firm in the yard. suns out. light breeze. slazanger body warmer. am approached. chris. says he not saw me for a while. look like shit. cheeky prick. not in mood. i clench fist. he backs up. idiot. stare him down. he refusing eye contact. mug.

tuesday. not well. phone in sick. gaffa wishes a speedy recovery. news hit the shop floor. group chat starts pingin. sayin i got the columbian flu. text from gaffa. warns me of drug test upon my return. told him my stuff always pure. fuckin idiot. thinks am buying bash. am no mug

awake. alive. not well. a foul stench lingers in bedroom. check boxers. skid marks. nothing out the ordinary. look to right. a jcb with her kegs off. must of fished that one out the tyne last night. lifting. toe punt it to wake the beast. send her on way. feel violated. disgusted

friday. pub. busy. few unknown faces. bit rowdy. one black fella givin it big licks. offers me out for apparent racial slurs. alright blackie chan. lamp him there an then. bar staff rush. tell em it was self defence. he escorted out. finishin mine and his pint now. fuckin idiot.

#GirthNTurf ya pissin me off now my youngin thinks it’s acceptable to be up till 1, 2, 3 in the fuckin mornin. let me tell ya now am on the early shift. the walls don’t come with sound proofin on this estate. shut the stream down earlier. not playin games here. am not in the mood

graftin. thursday. in staff room. chattin to dave. 1 day to go i mutter. he sparks life into me. reminds me it’s friday. fuckin buzzin. pull out nokia. order 3 for 1a. nowt daft. gaffa heard. asks what i ordered. told him a kfc. he doesn’t believe it. drug test on monday. prick.

tuesday. staff room. comedown in full swing. small talk is at an all time low. danny chattin bout his mad weekend. said he had 8 pints. i invade convo. call him fanny. i went through a hen. 500 overdrawn an put me neighbours window out. shut him right down. thinks he’s some boy.

monday. bank hol. just awoke. rougher than the tarmac general g scraped across. head poundin. got a beast in me bed. she says a promised her a takeaway tonight. said we’ll order after a sucky. blow a load. came out her nose. i tell her april fools. send her on way. fuckin sket.

sunday. easter. rough. pull self from pit. youngin already claimed tv. i persevere. cocomelon echoin. last whole 2 mins. i snap. tell youngin he’s fuckin 7 now. shouldn’t be watchin that shite. i snatch remote. put on ross kemp on gangs. youngin in tears. house in meltdown. cba.

at match. didn’t get ticket. just stood outside ground. lookin for trouble. it’s not found me yet. have to make it myself. launch half eaten hotdog into crowd. crowd dispersed. success. goin strawberry till half time. hopin someone will buy is a pint. pay still not in. sick.

good friday. day off. gunna be messy. decide to line the stomach. asda cafe. full english. old biddy says am not meant to eat meat today. fucks she talking to. tell her al slap my meat off her cheek if she pipes up again. shock from other cafe goers. am told to leave. piss take.

bank hol. 4 days off. buzzin. birds away for weekend. with the lasses. probably goin get railed. fuckin slag. pissed right off. got her on life360. trackin every move. am not a mug. got janice on way over mine now to keep is company. bought her some pinot g. hoping to get a sucky

browsin tinder last night. find lass. chattin. convo good. get her snap. arrange meet. arrive at hers this morn. she has a kid. off sick. got a cold. fuckin left that out her bio didn’t she. i didn’t order no second hand bairn. fuck this. waitin for bus home now. waste of time.

pissed me right off this has @russia am the last man ya want against ya on the front line. i once chinned an alpaca. i walk through doors sideways. have a high score of 958 on them boxing machines. am quick. nimble. devlishly good lookin an a nightmare for any opponent. back off.

in the mood. ready to cause some havoc tonight. gettin bait. line stomach. proper english curry. balti. bloke said it wasn’t spicy. lyin prick. blew lips off. pissed me right off. finished it as matter of principal but they not gettin penny from me. pricks. going pub now. buzzin.

friday. late shift. 12-4. piss take. in staff room. becca yappin. says she likes what nike have done with england flag. looks better with pink. tipped me over edge. launched jammy dodger off her head. jon pipes up. says should respect her opinion. prick. launch dodger at him too.

Dad needs putting in a retirement home

8-10 shift. sunday. fuckin joke. hangin out my arse. passed mid point now. gaffa been in office all night. gunna camp out rest of shift in disabled cubical. been on tinder. lass 3km away wants to meet. buzzin. brought fiat panda to work tonight. gunna fold her on back seat after.

man city can fuck off. don’t even care. if their hardest man was stood in front of me i would lamp him all over. he’s lucky he’s not. not in mood anyway. just gunna get 3 for 100 an sit on settee. nowt daft. bein sensible cos on the night shift tomorrow. warehouse. fuckin sick.

happy saturday. beautiful day. ruined by the troll i woke up next to. mark henry would her look a picture. fat cunt. sent her on way. cracked open a tinny. back on it. mags bags n slags. hittin it hard. biceps lookin extra big today. feel like an absolute warrior. i am a warrior.