I want to sing drunken karaoke with Session Moth Martina after a show, someone make this happen

Two hour meeting in a stuffy room about insurance claims. My entire body is twitching.

A tradition unlike any other

Imagine wearing this in public, you're begging for a swirlie

Beethoven's 9th. I made it through. Put in points with the lady. But there was this opera singer baritone guy who owned the entire stage and I went up to him after & said 'I've never been to anything like this before but you were the baddest mf in the room.' Popped the guy huge

Just heard the phrase 'there was a little too much vibrato for my taste'

Everyone at this symphony knows everyone else and understands the subtleties happening onstage and I feel like an outsider among insiders.

The irony of when I bring newbies with me to wrestling shows is not lost on me. I get it now.

There is a guy whose job is only to play the xylophone and triangle. He owns.

Everyone around me knows everything about this orchestra, and all I can contribute is asking if they saw Skunk Rocker wrestle Rita Raccoon

Remembering Larry Sweeney who passed away on April 11, 2011 #12LARGE

I'm glad I'm out of dip because I would've absolutely tried to throw in a few during this symphony gimmick and I probably would've gotten kicked out

There is a comically large harp in this orchestra. All of that harp cannot be necessary

At the symphony. Because I'm classy.

(Ok I'm here for a woman. But I'm wearing dress clothes and new dress shoes. I am incredibly uncomfortable)

Never forget Tim Meadows as OJ Simpson writing “I did it” on the NFL telestrater (one of the best SNL opens). This was shortly after the verdict.

It really sucks that Norm Macdonald died before OJ because Norm would've had a field day today

OJ's Twitter was always insane because he'd do these videos on fantasy football and you'd think 'man he's got a really good point about Josh Jacobs but also he did two murders'

It was always wild to me that OJ got off with murder but served time for stealing his own autographed shit. It was, as they say in the NBA, a makeup call.

Just had a college kid shadow me for possible internship. She goes 'wow your job is really fast paced!' Me 'yes I'm incredibly manic all day, I chose this life'

He never found the real killers

Nicotine fits SUCK and them 6mg baby snus ain't doing shit when I'm used to popping four 50mgs in all day. I'm checking my UPS tracking number hourly for my package from Sweden like the fiend I am.