TONIGHT BABY

Everyone in LA: God we’d do anything for some rain, we are in such a drought, we need rain plllleeeeeasse 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

***Rains for days***

Everyone in LA: this is too much rain

Come see me & my multiple personalities live!!! improv.com/hollywood/even…

I understand why Elon musk created electric cars…because getting gas is so BORING

I’m bawling. Not balling

Sadly everything I enjoy isn’t woke

Live footage of me trying to seduce my husband

You just know if boys had periods there would be all kinds of legislation for paid time off 🤣

Those are my emotional support 263 open tabs

Why do men with necks like this always have the most to say?

Anyone else freak out when they saw the “UFO” outside and make a whole sign and take ur neighbor up the street to see if you could get a closer look only to find out it’s just planets and you should prob watch the news? No? Just me? Cool.

I didn’t choose the unhinged life, the unhinged life chose me

Just a public service announcement that State Farm is absolute trash. I have homeowners’ insurance and my roof was destroyed in the last storm. This was their compensation check to me….$49…Buyer beware. Also, I’ve called my representative at least 10 times with no call back.

So weird how people used to be named stuff like Abraham Lincoln and now there’s just like Jeff

My neighbor having this up in February is a power move

Pros and cons of being hot:

Pro: Hot
Con: being

I thought he wanted to meet my parents because he was interested in my family, but he actually just wanted to find out why I’m like this

Happy anniversary babes. Me love you long time ❤️

Life isn’t as Tay in the Wind as I expected it to be

Stable? Nah that’s for horses