The eclipse this year was kind of a bust. I’d rather watch woman’s basketball.

LA - The Lyric Hyperion 4/23 & 4/30 930pm

W/ Nate Varrone & Robby Hoffman.

Tix here - linktr.ee/carmenchristop…

Just smoked a bowl with Finn Wolfhard.

He’s was cool actually.

He dabbed me up which was awesome.

People make fun of me for hanging with younger guys but I don’t give a fuck.

Filming my next special in Chicago
May 16th at 7pm & 930pm.
Tix here ❤️🐻🍾
linktr.ee/carmenchristop…

I don’t want this to come off as a joke. But I really honestly wish we could have one year at an award show where the in memoriam doesn’t happen because there was no deaths.

My mom just told me Christopher Nolan is from Chicago.

Who u got?

Answering a question I've been getting about the upcoming tour:

“Mo & Bert” - Two L.A. Commerical directors navigate dating and problematic behavior.

Watch here ⬇️
youtu.be/OndL-M8GgBs?si…

Check out this secret speak easy in LA

I’m sorry but If I saw someone about to shoot up a case of Bud Light I would have to jump in front of those bullets, brotha.

It’s award season in LA baby.

Come see my hour of stand up this Thursday in LA. Few tix left.
linktr.ee/carmenchristop…

May December Part 2 about to hit different

Detroiters won best comedy finally.

I’m not gonna say I was ever on Epstein’s plane but I definitely filled that thang up with some gas.

If the Dalai Lama is on Epsteins list I’m still gonna practice Buddhism but I’ll be pretty bummed.

Do I have to see Good Burger 1 to watch Good Burger 2 or can I just hop in?

i’m a good guy. went to the doctor and ate this thing out

The art in my moms guest room is astonishing