Cookie Urch(@Cookieurch) 's Twitter Profileg
Cookie Urch

@Cookieurch

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ID:3500741663

calendar_today31-08-2015 10:18:23

20,7K Tweets

1,5K Followers

1,4K Following

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I’m not sure which KC is doing the questioning right now, but he has absolutely no tolerance for and I’m here for it.

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doesn’t appear to know very much, does she? Also seems to suffer from terrible amnesia coupled with the convenience of bullshit. How the AF did she reach the level she did?

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Fun and games at mine for the next week and a half while 15 gets a Y10 intro to what next summer’s GCSEs look like. She gets an extra 25% time and says she wants to reconsider life choices and petition for maths to be sacked off as 2.5hrs is ‘torture, mum. Evil torture’

Fun and games at mine for the next week and a half while 15 gets a Y10 intro to what next summer’s GCSEs look like. She gets an extra 25% time and says she wants to reconsider life choices and petition for maths to be sacked off as 2.5hrs is ‘torture, mum. Evil torture’
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Never give up hope everyone. Daughter ordered something from Oliver Bonas on 23/12/23. Heart sank when it said were delivering it. I was unfair, because it was delivered today, the 15rh of fucking March.

Never give up hope everyone. Daughter ordered something from @OliverBonas on 23/12/23. Heart sank when it said #evri were delivering it. I was unfair, because it was delivered today, the 15rh of fucking March.
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Next time I’ll think twice about making a team out of sugarpaste & from now on will only do an All Blacks one if I even do that. Needs to dry between each colour, needs tidying up, someone might die today. The shoes & heads were the easy parts.

Next time I’ll think twice about making a #harlequins team out of sugarpaste & from now on will only do an All Blacks one if I even do that. Needs to dry between each colour, needs tidying up, someone might die today. The shoes & heads were the easy parts.
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Would be the decent thing to pay back the fines they have raked in from this ridiculously imposed nightmare. If only they’d listened to locals beforehand. The cynic in me wonders whether Mayoral elections have a hand here…

Would be the decent thing to pay back the fines they have raked in from this ridiculously imposed nightmare. If only they’d listened to locals beforehand. The cynic in me wonders whether Mayoral elections have a hand here…
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Monty has made himself a hammock by wedging the curtain between the sofa and wall and I’m not allowed in.

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15 is playing Maneater quite loudly, singing along word perfectly, and I’m wondering if I’ve fallen down a hole and woken up in 1982 because about 75% of the stuff she listens to is from then. Obviously there is some new fangled modern shite, but I’ll take the 80s.

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Baked eggs in the air fryer. Zero faff and took 8 minutes from deciding I wanted them to this. Absolutely perfectly cooked. Almost 15 in line for eggs for breakfast on school days now (after never having the time nor inclination to make them at 7am).

Baked eggs in the air fryer. Zero faff and took 8 minutes from deciding I wanted them to this. Absolutely perfectly cooked. Almost 15 in line for eggs for breakfast on school days now (after never having the time nor inclination to make them at 7am).
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Look at the bloody size of my abx pills. I struggle with teeny tiny ones so this will be fun for the next 10 days. Why can’t grown ups have the banana flavoured stuff packed with sugar from the 70s?

Look at the bloody size of my abx pills. I struggle with teeny tiny ones so this will be fun for the next 10 days. Why can’t grown ups have the banana flavoured stuff packed with sugar from the 70s?
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I feel so ill I thought I must have finally got covid for the first time (IKR), but I remain untouched and have some other shitter than shit thing leaving me wanting to surgically remove my sinuses with an apple corer. Ffs.

I feel so ill I thought I must have finally got covid for the first time (IKR), but I remain untouched and have some other shitter than shit thing leaving me wanting to surgically remove my sinuses with an apple corer. Ffs.
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My kid went to Norwich and all she did was SAVE THREE PENALTIES in the shoot out and help put her school hockey team through to the ISHC semi finals. Oh, and got POM too. Will have to feed her now I suppose.

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