My grandma died at the age of 97. Near the end, she asked for me, and when I went to her side, she held my hand and said, 'Don't ruin it all by being good.'

It was an entire conversation about girlhood between us, and I think about it all the time.

I cleaned out 13,000 old emails from an account I haven't used in years. I found a picture I don't think I've ever seen from my first 'grown' vacation with a friend in 2008.

I had a great tan and terrible highlights.

I was so young.

The funniest version of this is when someone will make their entire personality about how they are 'straightforward and direct', then do something unbelievably passive-aggressive like give you the silent treatment for three weeks and tell you that that doesn't count.

One time, I went to a high school reunion & a lot of us stayed in this hotel attached to the venue. In the morning, we got breakfast & someone said, 'Wow, it's crazy that nobody hooked up last night.'

Sir, come on now. Pay attention to those of us who froze like weeping angels

Hunting for my deleted notes, I found one from the year I became disabled that reads like a diary entry.

I don't know why I wrote it.
Still feels true.

Well. It appears that in switching phones I lost access to all my Twitter drafts, which makes zero sense.

Also, this was my first time owning an android so while I thought I was backing everything up I wasn't. 2 years of notes & photos down the drain 🤷‍♀️

There is one woman, and one woman only, who God made a bad enough to pull this off.

Call me when Rihanna has it on under a fur coat.

It's very rude when they tell you your phone is waterproof and it doesn't survive an unplanned trip to the bottom of the therapy pool. Disrespectful.

Anyway expect little of me till I can rush order a new phone. I'm really struggling with the laptop. No good voice program.

One of the funnier things to happen in my dating life was this dude at my first full time job asking me out after several years of working together. He was 35. I was 21.

I told him that my friend and I didn't call him 'old man' ironically. We just thought he was really old.

11 years of this illness. Not getting up, not going out, not being who you knew. Always the busy one, usually the brave one. It's been so long since she's been me.

But you just keep showing up. And you never expect me to be who I was.

Here's to the ones who show up ❤️

What doesn't kill you makes you exhausted and broke.

Rationing someone so hard they delete their entire misogynistic account is one of life's small pleasures.