A man in another car did the “wanker” hand gesture at me today on the M6 and it’s made me reflect that we don’t see the “wanker” hand gesture so much these days (it was quite an elderly man who made it at me today to be honest)

I dreamed there were birds in the office: a meadow pipet and a crow

I’m trying to remember when my #disgust with Conservatives began. Probably with William Whitelaw’s gloating after the end of the Iranian Embassy siege. And Margaret Thatcher’s after the Belgravia sinking. Peter Lilley’s “Little List” speech was another early(ish) nadir

Happy Wear a Bird’s Head to the Office Day everyone

Every Zoom or Teams meet I get a little bit balder

Dreamed I set up to sell petrol from a pump in front of my house. My first customer was initially thrilled but struggled to draw his car up to the pump (trees, bins, bollards in the way) and became skeptical I could serve him. Like most car drivers he was a complete arsehole

Anyone else always have that feeling as you slip out of your waterproof trousers at work that you might have forgotten to put your actual trouser on?

Fitted a new rear mudguard to my bicycle. I think the front one’s ok. Has anyone else fitted mudguards to their bicycles today?

Dreamed my son received an invitation to go Scottish County Dancing from a Miss Phyllis Milstead. We try to tap “Phyllis Milstead” into Google to find out if she’s real (if she’s real he has to go and he really doesn’t want to) but my fat thumbs keep botching it

Dreamed I had a handheld device that had no screen but rather you had to (achingly slowly) print out adverts and articles about Man Utd you had no interest in one at a dot-matrixed time

I think I’ve talked more today than I’ve ever talked in one day before. Mostly to people I’ve only just met or barely know. Mostly mansplaining. Hurrah for talking talking.

Happy Transgender Day of Visibility everyone

Dream we are watching some young lads play football. There is a clash of heads in the box and two lads go down. Clearly there are no coaches, no-one’s mum or dad. We stay on the sidelines and watch the lads lose consciousness. I wonder if anyone’s called an ambulance

My dream (about a mean, drunken bargeman) ended like a film with a camera pan, lingering shot of and then zoom into a close-up of a brick wall. And a sense, as I awoke, that the credits were about to roll. Are our dreams played to us as films by some omniscient projectionist?

My dream (about a mean, drunken bargeman) ended like a film with a camera pan, lingering shot of and then zoom into a close-up of a brick wall. And a sense, as I awoke, that the credits were about to roll. Are our dreams are played to us as films by some omniscient projectionist?

I predict these will be great. Do it playwrights!

Last night in my dream one of my colleagues deliberately and maliciously threw my laptop on to the floor and broke it into pieces. Other colleagues looked on and did nothing. As I picked up and tried to reassemble the pieces I felt no anger but an immense sadness