There’s a nonplussed. Why no nonminused?

If your deity is chubby do you call it “The Lard”?

One sportscaster on tv used the word “delayment.” 5 minutes later a weather gal said “it was a chance opportunity.” Better go back to hieroglyphics.

If my wine bottle hasn’t breathed sufficiently I give it immediate mouth-to-mouth.

There’s been an uptick of Lyme Disease lately.

The early bird catches the worm but the early worm gets eaten.

I’m writing an autobiography; it’s all about my Toyota Corolla.

Sheep foreplay: May I ram ewe?

Why didn’t they call the Dodge Ram the Dodge Sheep?

I bought a wine with a fabulous nose. The nose hairs, however, proved a bit tricky.

Customers will be towed?

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

A bird in the hand is good but a hand in the bush is better.

They’re not “rainbow” trout—they’re LGBTQ trout.

When it comes to pizza I’m a real crustacean.

Is a pommel the saddle’s penis?

I just read that George W. Bush once said that “the French don’t have a word for ‘entrepreneur’.”

I found the fossilized head of A baby Alien. The bidding starts at $1000.

Who is this “Trump” people talk about?

In these days of gender awareness shouldn’t women order a Gal Lite and not a Bud Lite?