I don’t need your gift card sale or 20% off my purchase. I got an unpaid day off work, I need extra lives on my phone games.

Now is the perfect time to openly dig any graves you may need for the coming year and call it halloween decor

This is a public service announcement

… and for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

I’m not above dating someone for their package. Their NFL Sunday Ticket package.

I accidentally hit my husband with the car, twice.

🎶Have yourself a merry little breakdown.🎶

Heading to work. That is not a typo.

Glad to have football back, regardless

Happy #waybackwednesday to Rex Chapman🏇🏼

Rainy days and Mondays y’all.

I had some seven layer dip in the summertime and here I thought it was just a Super Bowl party food.

When it’s Marvel night at the ballpark

What is the point of the work husband if she comes home and tells me about her day anyway?

Apparently saying 'there's a cold one callin my name' when you work in a morgue sets off alarms.

*covers ears*

For International Bikini Day, I took out my favorite one and looked at it while I ate BBQ chips. It’s really cute.

Rediscovering my skin’s youthful radiance sounds like a lot of work.