Don’t try to go faster

Don’t get them wet

Don’t refuel them after midnight

It’s 3.15 AM and I’ve been locked in a flat by Bad Men demanding £6,500 in ransom

Wouldn't be complete without the Venn Diagram would it?

🎵 “The Cat has got her Sun on,
Hip-hip-hip Hooray”

Would anyone be cheered by watching three tiny moorhen chicks guided across open pond between the safety of the reeds?

The infamous Bullingdon Cats photo. Three of these cats went on to be the Downing Street cat, while the fourth, Lord Tibbles of Wrentham (bottom), was implicated in the Peterhead haddock scandal.

The weather has just had another aggressive mood change, but here’s what it was like half an hour ago.

The first clear (but not clear on camera, alas) moorhen chicks this year - little more than a scribble of fur between the tufts of grass and the adult. I think this is the third year I’ve seen this pair breed, which is good going for moorhens.

When you’re surprised at the efficacy of a Robin.

Hired this guy to clear the moss off my patio and he’s doing a great job.

It will be demonstrated by his lawyers that he doesn’t *quite* fit into his alleged coffin.

Someone just got on the train with a bag that reads ‘Fighting Animal
Testing’ and I thought why bother testing them, just let them fight.

This tower … has got me like a goat tower.

He was framed.

A study in Mandarin Duck

A plastic ring is just crackers. Will there be a joke and a paper hat too?

In the lounge at Krakow Airport and all they have is vodka, random sweets and the world’s furthest away croissant.

Krakow Zoo greeter. Front and rear.