'We need more Boliver keychains!'
'We are out of Boliver keychains in the gift shop! Repeat, we are out out of Boliver keychains!'
'Mommy, buy me a keychain!'
'No! Now come along, Boliver!'
'Are you talking to me?'
'No, my son is also named Boliver.'

I tried to make a funny twitter thread, but twitter ate the first post, so /nothing/ in the thread makes any sense anymore, so I just deleted all the following tweets.

It's too bad.

Gen-X woulda loved it.

<amazon> David, you are eligible for Business-Only Pricing!
<me> I assure you, I am *not*. I buy socks from you once a year and that's about it. I haven't bought replacement pants from you, I'm still budgeting those.
<amazon> But we have a credit plan that--
<me> And there it is.

This is taking FOREVER.

Pretty sure that the reason that now all blue checks are reported as 'legacy verification or twitter blue', is because there is nobody left at twitter who *knows how* to disable legacy verification at scale.
Somehow, this outcome is *even worse* than it was before.

He's a real nowhere man
Playing all his nowhere games
Making all his nowhere vids
For nobody

Why
In the fucking world
Is it *impossible* for me to look up a videogame clip on youtube that isn't posted by a fucking hyena.
<me> This video seems apt. *click*
<youtuber> HEEEYY WHASSUP YOU GUYS SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUB TO--
<me> Nobody will miss you when you are gone.

Mm-hm.
Aaaaaany day now.
Just like this week.
And the week before.
And every fucking day for the past *six years*.

Listen, Citizens for Ethics, nothing will happen, *until it happens*.

I love Control.
'Down in Maintenance, Thresholds are used like any other tool. Labcoats mine Blackrock from one, and Maintenance siphons water from another. We use it for everything but drinking.'
'Why don't you drink it?'
'Well, there's these.. chunks.. in it. Pretty gross.'