New Poll Finds 0% Of Hospital Builders Want A General Election

Great to see Emer Higgins promoted after all her hard work getting the name of Passport Express changed. I defy anyone to name a Fine Gael TD who’s achieved more in the last 13 years.

Proud Denis O'Brien Pictured With His New Cabinet

'I Will Be A Taoiseach For All', Says Man Elected By 0.001% Of The Population

Proud Ghost Of Margaret Thatcher Visits Leo Varadkar To Thank Him For His Service

BREAKING: Leo Varadkar Tenders His Resignation To King Charles

Headlines like these are why Dr Harold News consistently outperforms our main competitors at the Irish Independent. Good satire must be believable.

Simon Harris says Fine Gael will get young people out of their parents' box rooms, but warns it will take time to undo the damage done by whoever’s been in charge for the last 13 years.

Live scenes as delegates welcome Simon Harris at the Fine Gael Ard Fheis:

Eamon Ryan Unable To Do Weekly Shop After High Winds Force His Plane To Abort Landing At Dunnes

Simon Harris Reassures Worried Fine Gael Supporters That His Crackdown On Crime Will Not Extend To Tackling Fraud And Corruption

Live Scenes As Economist Behind United Ireland Cost €20 Billion Study Visits Fine Gael Headquarters

New study finds a United Ireland could cost €20 billion, although this figure drops to €1.50 if Stephen Donnelly’s proposal to build a new children’s hospital in Belfast is excluded.

BREAKING: Simon Harris Confirms Fionnán Sheahan Will Retain His Role As Propaganda Minister In Cabinet Reshuffle

Eamon Ryan has expressed concern about the number of Fine Gael TDs submitting resignation letters and has urged them to resign by email instead.

Bertie Ahern says somebody once gave him an empty brown envelope on April Fools' Day.

Jesus's Empty Tomb Already On Daft For €1,800 Per Month

'That man whose funeral I did on Friday is outside, Ted'

Conor McGregor Disappointed To Discover His White Easter Egg Just Chocolate

BREAKING: Clocks Cannot Go Forward This Weekend After It Emerges Darragh O'Brien Has Already Given The Hour To Property Developers