Gaseous Clay steps into the ring for another bout against the judicial system. Odor in the court! Trying to put a gag order on that man is like trying to clean up Hurricane Katrina with a sponge. It's going to be a long cold futile day in hell before you see you got anywhere. 😆

Tfg's position on abortion has shifted 13 times in 25 years. The only time I ever seen someone change their mind that many times was when my ex was trying to decide where we were going out to eat that night.

Thank you Nana Ann for 30 years worth of Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving dinners, and thanks for being my second Mom when mine passed. You'll be missed. Her daughter and I were only together for 7 years, but Nana Ann made me an honorary family member for life. Rest In Peace.

Bought this egg omelette ring thingy on Temu for $1.39
I'm kinda liking it...

Some custom bookends I just made myself. Pretty badass.
Mark Hamill

I'm psyched, I just found the first of 12 eggs that I hid last year!
Must be Saint Patrick's eggs or something because it's all green under the shell.
Oh well, only 11 more to go, woohoo! 📷 📷 📷

I was going to post a time-traveling joke for April Fools' Day, but none of you liked it.

My dentist said I have March Madness teeth. I was like, 'Why, because they're so awesome?'. He said, 'No, because you're just about down to your Final Four'.

If someone calls me old I'm like, 'F%$# you prick!...
But when I'm trying to buy something I'm like, 'Do you offer any kind of senior citizens discount?' 😆

If roses were red and violets were purple, there would be a lot more poems about Winston Churchill.

Delicious stir fry over rice with slow cooked chicken that falls off the bone,

I sit on this piece of foam because my stool at my computer hurts my butt. I jumped off my seat and I saw the foam pad fall. I was looking everywhere for it on the floor and it was like it just disappeared. Damn you static cling!

True...

This weekend I'm going to throw a dart at a map and wherever it hits, I'm going to drive there with my girlfriend, randomly find a restaurant to get some dinner, then walk around for a while and see some sights. Can anyone recommend a girlfriend?

I have always loved Scarlett Johansson, but now I really love her, like that time Oreos were just Oreos and then all of a sudden they invented the Double Stuf.

I have always loved Scarlett Johansson, but now I really love her, like that time Oreos were just Oreos and then all of a sudden they invented the Double Stuf.

I just mixed these two together in a bowl and ate them with chopsticks. My life will never be the same.