matt christman foretold the Noid's return. doubt him at your own peril

Just got a minimum wage worker fired for being on their phone when they should be taking my order (steamed oat milk with caramel syrup).

what if the doobie brothers sucked ass, actually

Oh sorry we can’t send an officer to the accident for another few hours, all of our fat, racist, mouth breathing morons are too busy beating up college kids

Last night some asshole stalked and aggressively confronted S A M at the bluegrass show and he calmly told the fella the Latitude and Longitude coordinates of an undiscovered cave in Jackson county that could easily conceal the body of a slender 6foot man with a ponytail

YO AALIYAH DONT FILL UP ON ALL DAT BREAD GIRL.....GOT A BIG MEAL COMING WHEN WE LAND Really makes ya think. Eat the bread everyone. Namaste.

Nature is simply amazing

Sturgill backstage at Outside Lands Fest this summer waitin on Moby to leave so he can smash some chili dogs before his set in peace.

i hate it when the suspicious innkeeper asks if i have coin. are you really gonna make me jangle my fat purse brother?

josh brolin, looking slightly confused as snl comes back from commercial, sweeping his arm to introduce the musical act: ladies and gentlemen, homer. j. simpson.
homer: and i’d give up forever to touch you,

lost me with the first sentence

Sturgill watching everyone bug out about this timer