What do you call a soup made entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere?

A broth of fresh air.

#NotSorry

Oh you bet I'll make it weird.

I'll make it weird as fuck.

I always regret the plans I made in that 5 minutes of extroverted thoughts.

What is normal?

Just once, I'd like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire.

Morning guys

#Z

I wrote 1609 words today.

Fucking proud of myself.

I will not lose the war being waged against me. I'm worth fighting for.

#Z

What has five toes but isn't your foot?

My foot.

#NotSorry

I may look sane...

...but I tell songs to shut up before I skip them.

Do you ever see the first two words of a text and immediately think 'I don't have time for this shit.'

Morning guys.

#Z

Don't mind me.

I'm just rewriting history.

#NotSorry

I failed as a Disney princess.

I'm a dragon now.

A great series and fantastic author. Highly recommend.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What doesn't kill me, makes my coffee turn into an extra shot.

Morning guys.

#Z

Dr. Frankenstein was a body builder.

It's a solid Yay

I'm a delicate flower, but 'fuck that shit' is still my go-to substitute for the word 'No'.

Morning guys

#Z

I've designed a new fashion line combining coffee and trousers

I've called them Cappucchinos.

#NotSorry

If baked is pronounced baked, why isn't naked pronounced like naked ?

I just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up the icecube off the kitchen floor.