Let it be known that in the seventy-eighth year of my life, I developed an affinity for pepperoni.

I am beginning to think, only beginning mind you, that they will succeed in serving the Orange Imbecile his just desserts.

Is there an Olympic event for those half man-half motorcycle guys?

HERE I SIT
I sit here in defiance!
My defiance was born in the crucible of your god's misdeeds.
I sit here in defiance of his abandonment of the children.
I sit here awash in his cold calamity.
I sit here and wait for death,
Not at his hand but from nobler source.

i don't see why it matters whether Putin is going to invade or not going to invade. He invades, he invades; he doesn't, he doesn't. Results will be the same. I just wish it were Summer, so that the adorable little Russian bear could lead the charge shirtless on horseback.

Trump Inc. gearing up to manufacture Bobble-head Humpty-Dumpy dolls.

In answer to 'where is Melania,' Mrs. Trump has been spotted back in her native Slobovia, helping out at her cousin's goat-washing business.

Just in: House of Wong Takeout announces it will no longer deliver to Trump Tower.

Ironically, if Trump were still on Twitter, in light of the judge calling him 'Humpty Dumpty,' he'd be drowning himself in his trademark toddler-temper-tantrum, self-incriminatory tweets.

Looks like the Orange Imbecile will now have to testify and invoke the Fifth, which will make headlines worldwide and hearken back to his numerous statements that 'only guilty people take the Fifth.' Or maybe he'll actually testify and drown in Stupid Soup?

Oh man I wish the Orange Imbecile were still on Twitter! His latest entry in the annals of stupidity, his refutation of everything his lawyers and accountants said to protect him would have drawn a lovely demeaning tweet from me which traditionally would have begun 'Hey Stupid.'

Trump's accountants dropped him, but still kind of alluded he may not be aware of his erroneous tax statements, a sort of parting attempt to protect the Orange Imbecile who countered by posting a statement saying he knows it all. (Surprise). Legendary raw stupidity!

Not only was Trump stupid enough to think he could get away with all this sh*t, he was right!

Sources reveal that among visitors to Trump White House were celebrity brother Frank Stallone and the ghost of Mel Blank.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon........c'mon......oof! There it is!

John A. Fetto Jay Israel is an ally with whom we can have Chinese food on Christmas!

Everybody, everywhere should be allowed to take whatever drugs they like, as much as they like, whenever they like, for free! This will establish a permanent national Froove groove and possibly, in certain situations, prevent sunburn!

Are the Olympics over yet? I miss Seth Meyers.

LAWNS
I heard distaff spouses call liltingly to husbands lovingly
bathing BMW toys in driveways.
I saw tiny children playing soccer and parent spectators
hurling feigned interest into the chilled suburban
morning air.
I caught glimpse of America.

When the cynic sits astride his mighty horse,
Downtrodden are the meager sensibilities of the common man.
When derisive laughter rings out across fair land,
Each cackle cuts a swath upon fairest breast.
If he cannot see the fault within himself,
Whence then such perverse motives?