I look forward to the day that Tavernier, Goldson, Barasic & Lundstram never play for Rangers again

Judas: still on for Friday?
Jesus: Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas

[Obi-Wan, standing on the Chrysler Building] 'Your new Empire State Building?!?'

type shit i’m on today

in the stripped club. straight up “jorking it” . and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. My pingus

Owning a printer is life changing

But they were all of them deceived, for a fourth Haim sister was made, in the fires of Mount Doom

me at the 97-year-old willy wonka immersive chocolate experience in glasgow where oompa loompas still serve P░U░S░S░Y░I░N░B░I░O the old-fashioned way but they start playing julie ragbeer

Absolute travesty on ticket prices Pearl Jam

I've loved Pearl Jam since I was a teenager but I can't justify a minimum £160 for a ticket. Not sure who I'd pay that much for tbh. Tom Waits maybe?

i have felt like this man for my entire life

ONE CHICKEN FOR WILLY

Bruce Springsteen if he were millennial:

Porn and an IPA

And then when all hope is lost, who comes down the mountain but the grinch himself

an entire generation of people are suddenly reading again, bookshops are coming back to life, authors are getting paid

truly and from the bottom of my heart please shut the fuck up with this gatekeeping nonsense

as the light that is my life flickers out, one last sentence echoes in my waning mind

busy schedule today

When I say I got that dog in me this is what I mean

It doesn’t even hurt anymore Rangers Football Club

I wanted to give Dessers a chance but fuck me. It’s like watching a woodlouse trying to play football. Fucking horrific