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In the ‘80s when this guy showed up you knew it was gonna be a great movie.
#RIPDabneyColeman

Fellas, at this rate, women are just gonna run off with bears and start a brand new society any day now. Do better.

Oh so NOW we wanna hold cops accountable?

Every once in a while cops gotta arrest a rich white golfer just to show they’re not racist.

BREAKING: Texas governor approves new state motto “Don’t mess with Texas murderers.”

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BREAKING: According to NFL Shop website, Harrison Butker jersey sales are now number one among misogynists, insurrectionists, and lonely single men suffering from erectile dysfunction.

BREAKING: North Carolina Senate votes to ban mask wearing for health reasons. Mask wearing for hate rallies, Klan meetings, and armed robbery however still perfectly legal.

BREAKING: Lauren Boebert visits New York criminal court to lend Trump a handjob.

BREAKING: Instead of working, Republican lawmakers wasting American tax dollars on photo op with man with 91 felony charges.

YOUR WIFE SHOULD BE DOING THAT!!!

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BREAKING: According to today’s GOP real women should stay in the kitchen while real men wear diapers.

BREAKING: Insiders say Trump has begun preparing for presidential debate by squaring off with RFK Jr.’s dead brain worm.

Just one drive out to the westside is all it takes to confirm that not nearly enough of you motherfuckers moved out of California.

BREAKING: Chiefs kicker misses point, goes alt-right.

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BREAKING: Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker challenging Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers for position of NFL player most in need of shutting the fuck up.

More like Speaker of the Louse, am I right?