After filing for union recognition in July of 2023, the writers for MTV’s Ridiculousness have achieved their first contract! The agreement covers all writers on the long-running show, including Creative Consultants, Supervising Producers, and the Showrunner.

Chris Paul finally figured out how to beat the Warriors in the playoffs.

They killin me on IG, I had to get some glasses because your man Greg E got a stigmatism. My wife said I look Arthur. Who do I look like?

They should teach yoga classes at ikea on Tuesdays.

Where i'm from, anybody can get beat up. Ive seen preachers, doctors, lawyers, grandparents, plumbers, drug dealers, kids, elderly people all get them hands. But it keeps everybody in check knowing nobody is off limits from a good ol' fashion southern ass whoopin.

One of my homies from way back just started rapping & i thought he was joking but he taking this rap shit hella seriously at 43 years old. I stopped laughing & now im just appreciating his tenacity. He started a rap beef w/ a dude in our fantasy football league.

Not in the book:

This is Clemette Haskins. We grew up together. My dad and her dad played at Western Kentucky University together (and went to the Final Four). Our parents are best friends. Wayne and Laura — and Clem and Yvette.

Clemette was “Ms. Basketball” in Kentucky in…

Just want to let everybody know i also do web design. Here's a new site i'm currently working on.

I know its a lot of shit going on in the world, death, famine, slavery, hunger.. But umm.. Can we get a plane i can take my dog on . He's really dope, & i'd never put the homie underneath the plane like he's fucking luggage or something. Holla at me, i'd invest in Pup-Planes.

You ever fuck a girl who’s mom was a jet beauty of the week.

Not in the book:

Stephen Curry had just finished his freshman year at Davidson and every coach I knew was calling to ask me if I would talk to my bestie Dell Curry — and see if Stephen would consider transferring to their school.

When I say everyone I mean everyone. Including…

So i've been fucking with people by pronouncing the L in salmon, & the looks ive been getting are hilarious. Working on not caring what ppl think about me as much & just having more silly fun within my life outside of standup. Im also going to start saying flabbergasted more.

When I get mad at someone I try to think of their favorite color & then that calms me down. Everybody has a favorite color kids, terrorist, murderers, kidnappers , drunks, victims. It makes me think that my anger doesn’t matter because this assholes favorite color is purple.

Nobody should be making tote bags anymore, enough, no more tote bags. It’s a wrap on tote bags. Kill the totes.

I used to hate on cologne dudes, but now I get it. Wearing cologne is a way of cheating on your wife without fucking. When I wear cologne & a woman tells me I smell good, we just had sex in my mind. Nobody’s hurt, no custody court over our dog. Im just a great smelling adulterer.

I've been eating Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches lately and they have been on point. PB&J is banging, classic, vintage sandwich. Go make you a PB&J and love your bitchass life.

Crowd work not enough, I want the audience to do 45 minutes.

I hate the way everybody says mmmmmmh…. When they think somebody says something poignant. I’d rather you snap your fingers like a creative writer grad at poetry slam in 2001 in Berkeley. Just stop mmmmmhing.