bacon popsicle 🦷 (@Gupton68 )

bacon popsicle 🦷

Bio confused ramblings of a geriatric ne’er-do-well... ➡️ my faves: ⬅️ #blacklivesmatter
Location dead, and loving it
Tweets 277,5K
Followers 28,1K
Following 7,3K
Account created 15-07-2012 18:25:15
ID 636364195

iPhone : Remember the days when you kept checking your phone for human contact... And all the while it was at arm's length in front of you? Good times, weren't they?

iPhone : For a man who claims to have 'very deep pockets' he sure has short arms when it comes to those who are desperately in need.

iPhone : Remember that guy who posted a pic of his wife and bitched that they waited a long time for cheese to put on their fajitas? That was 37 years ago tomorrow.

iPhone : Got kicked out of another museum for wearing my cool khakis and yelling “where can a fella get a docent meal in this place” let’s give this a like folks it’s all I have

iPhone : Me: Oh, you’re gonna pull over a Black woman for driving a nice car? What’re you gonna do now? Beat me with your stick? Plant drugs on me?

Cop: That’s a motorized shopping cart, you’re wasted, and this is called a baton.

Now c’mere so I can beat you and plant drugs on you.

iPhone : When I find myself missing you, I try to turn the sadness into gratitude because the moments we did have made my heart happy.

iPhone : My life accomplishments are simply amazing. To eat an entire chocolate cake in one sitting and to score two pairs of yoga pants for only $2.11 each.