I’ll just leave this here

Kyle Rittenhouse

I’m 45. I sometimes have to pause and think which year I became a SEAL or which year I finished EM residency in New Mexico.

But I never tried to hang the Vice President. That I’m pretty clear on.

Everyone talks about how no one “gets” you like your mom gets you, but I feel like no one gets me like my daughter gets me.

Kid is somethin.

In 2024 gyms need to start enforcing policy that if you’re caught taking photos or videos of someone without their consent to post on social media to bully, shame, or embarrass them, your membership is automatically revoked and you’re banned from the gym. Gyms need to do better.

BREAKING: Economist Paul Krugman just declared President Biden’s economy to be one of the strongest in decades. Krugman details how unlikely this was given Trump’s handling of the pandemic & gave Biden’s pro-infrastructure, pro-labor and pro-manufacturing policies all the credit.

Youthful me: Parties all night long and ready to do it again the next night.

Thirtysomething me: I have a headache from the weather changing.

If you ever feel stupid, just remember someone made this meme, and they thought 'it'll' was spelled 'it'ill.'

Just for the record. If you're going to have a mental breakdown, I'd rather you jump naked into a Bass Pro Shop aquarium than shoot up innocent people..

Your father incessantly called Marla Maples at her apartment while I was there rehearsing with her.

You were only about 10 years old at this time so perhaps you were not yet aware of what a disgusting pig and thief your father was.

He cheated with Marla for years before your…

*gets a full 8 hours of sleep*

Me: That’s suspicious

If Bill Clinton raped girls on Epstein’s island, he should rot in prison for the rest of his life.

If Donald Trump raped girls on Epstein’s island, he should rot in prison for the rest of his life.

That wasn’t so difficult, was it?

A Santa Claus is being applauded for supporting a young girl who told him she didn't want to sit on his lap. trib.al/bd2uxxa

The CIA had an opening for an undercover field agent.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We…

You can’t hurt me, you’re not one of my students asking me if we had electricity when I grew up in the late 1900’s

True story, right here…👇

Of course I’m not the favorite child, I’m the oldest.