This feels timely

If Grade 3 math homework has taught my daughter anything it’s that I don’t understand Grade 3 math.

Some days you feel like you’re nailing parenting and some days Grade 3 math homework exposes your worst self.

If something happens to me please tell my family it’s because I’ve had the song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on a constant loop in my head for the past 14 hours.

The eclipse was cool and now it’s over and there was no rapture and so now I have to go home and make dinner. 0 stars.

Teacher: The last total solar eclipse in our area was in 1925

My 9yo: woah I don’t even think my mom was born yet!

“Can I tell you what’s annoying?”
-My 9yo, while refusing to go to sleep

My 9yo is mad at me because Emily claimed she’s buying her a puppy for her birthday and she knows l’ll never let her keep it.

“If you like living in a house and eating food you’ll hurry up so I can get to work” and other damaging things that fall out of my mouth some mornings.

My favourite part of today was when my kids hugged it out and then checked their backs for kick me signs.

“Send your partner to the grocery store with an auto-corrected list and put your phone on Do Not Disturb” and other evil ideas

muddyum.net/these-april-fo…

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are

One tiny inconvenience away from eating my body weight in nachos

Don’t stress about getting the house clean if you’ve got people over today. Saying “imagine it clean though” saves a lot of time.

“Can I tell you what’s annoying?”
-My 9yo, while refusing to go to sleep

Overheard my 12yo warn his friend that I’m embarrassing so I told her he kept saying how excited he was for their play date.