not a place in my house where i can't get to the cholula in 3 seconds in the dark

when I say I prefer the Alien Ant Farm cover of Smooth Criminal

this is Sean Jordan

lebron could never

He can't really ever truly lose because that isn't even his sport.

Drake getting into rap beefs = Deion Sanders playing Major League Baseball

HUUUUUGELY

Janice Soprano is the greatest television character in the history of television. It’s not close.

I feel like the BBC gains 50% of it's credibility just from having old, tired looking reporters.

Ketchup's not available. What are you putting on these?

Look at Scoot, man

I returned to my old job writing at the Portland Mercury 🗞 for the annual 'Why I Love Portland' issue.

I wrote about... why I still love Portland.

portlandmercury.com/say-nice-thing…

🚨 SCOOT POSTER 🚨

Whenever Ian writes about Portland, you have to read it, or else you have to leave town forever.

We had Neal Brennan on the podcast to draft the all-time best stand-up comedy specials.

What are your top five picks?

Anatomy: A Love Story.

I turned on the Masters to have some background noise while I work and my wife immediately took a nap on the couch. The power of televised golf is unequalled.

Hey hey hey Portland!!! This is tomorrow night! 7pm! Come on up to St. Johns and hear some amazing words and drink some wine and, who knows, maybe we'll all end up at one of our neighborhood's glorious dive bars. 🔥🔥🔥

Love this so much. Thank you ian karmel