Already running away from the bill you just passed before the president even signs it, good sign?

You don't have to commit seppuku dude just take a few months off and then get a job in an adjacent industry

As a small government republican who hates tyranny, my favorite pastime is fantasizing about living in a police state anytime I see a public protest

I love to be a citizen of a freedom loving democracy, where every politician issues a statement like 'While protesting is still technically legal or whatever,'

I have to hand it to her, it didn't occur to me to do this tweet in chart form

In today's society the devil can't even buy your soul anymore he has to buy a monthly subscription!

💥REMINDER💥 If you say ANYTHING on my page I don’t like. You’re getting instantly Blocked.
I’ve personally curated my Social Media pages to dispatch all Dumbfucks..💥

We have to pay women more. We will not be a just society until women make enough for their husbands to stay home and game

It's really funny that grindset people think a billionaire could easily get rich again if they had to start over with no one knowing who they are. Imagine elon musk trying to get a job

We don't solve the world's problems on this app but we do act annoying about them, which if you think about it is a form of raising awareness

'Cooking isn't hard just follow the recipe.' Come here. Come here and eat this food I just made

Everything is so expensive now there has never been a better time to have no hobbies or interests. While you are crying about how much your concert tickets cost I am standing perfectly still in my house and smiling

1991: Mom gently rocks you to sleep
2024: Mom doesn't rock you to sleep anymore

Anyone else notice this?

People love to quote-tweet stuff saying 'Why can't you guys be normal?' First of all you know this is an online loony bin and second you've been here for years, time to stop pretending you're a visitor and not a patient

whenever a blue check barges into the replies of a viral tweet

This is fine for a country like Finland, but how would it work here, in a country where we don't want to do that

It's good to return your shopping cart to its proper place at the store
Quote tweet: Y'all really doing free labor for a corporation
QT of QT: It only makes a low wage employee's life harder
Reply: Some low wage employees are racist but ok?

It's cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You're gonna write emails on the computer buddy

The horrifying details emerging about the World Central Kitchen massacre: The convoy was struck 3 times in succession, with the drone chasing the wounded aid workers from vehicle to vehicle to make sure they were all killed. No legit pretext and precise coordination with the IDF.

Finally attained power but I will not let it corrupt me. Unfortunately the only way to prove that is to maintain my hold on power indefinitely at all costs