Good thinking?

Who Invented AI? I Did!
Attn: @simpsons, Elon Musk, The Nobel Prize
As my friend David Schutten just reminded me, your favorite Simpsons writer is also a tremendous inventor. This article appeared in the Dec. 1982 issue of Playboy. It's the true birth of AI. Too late to get a prize?

'Hey, this document is printed on actual horseshit,' I said.
'The words are what are important, not what they are printed on.'
'Yeah, but I mean, smell this.'
'I do not need to smell it to know the meaning.'

- Frank Burly in 'Dead Detective Mountain'

We got in the rocket and strapped ourselves in.
A policeman rapped on the rocket with his billy club. 'I'll give you ten seconds to get this rocket out of here. Ten... nine...'
We took off with a roar.

'Dead Detective Mountain'

I was warned to stop screaming so much or they'd give me something to scream about. This warning was so frightening I couldn't help but scream.
'Okay, I guess we were asking for that scream,' they said 'but no more screaming after this.'

- Frank Burly 'Dead Detective Mountain'

I never did like magical people when I read about them in books. I liked them even less now that they were kicking me in the nuts with their beautiful feet.

- Frank Burly in 'Dead Detective Mountain'

It's fun being a jerk, especially when you're being paid for it. Just ask (fill in name of jerk later).

- Frank Burly in 'Dead Detective Mountain'

'Throw Your Cat Away'
Big cat hit in 1979 (ask Dr. Demento, he'll tell you), recorded by Jan Hobson & Her Bad Review, featuring Jan Hobson, David Schutten, and Randy Plut. And written by me.

youtube.com/watch?v=uKDJeQ…

'The Raccoon Song'
Hit song (ask Dr. Demento) recorded in 1979 by Jan Hobson & Her Bad Review, featuring Chicago songstress Jan Hobson, ace illustrator David Schutten and piano prodigy Randy Plut (playing for all he's worth), and written by me.

youtube.com/watch?v=EmVipG…

Who Invented AI? I Did!
Attn: @simpsons, Elon Musk, The Nobel Prize
As my friend David Schutten just reminded me, your favorite Simpsons writer is also a tremendous inventor. This article appeared in the Dec. 1982 issue of Playboy. It's the true birth of AI. Too late to get a prize?

'Sometimes I think we've already given peace enough of a chance.'
- Frank Burly 'Dead Detective Mountain'

Imagine the joy in your home when you give them a copy of Dead Detective Mountain.

('Here, Bobby. Christmas present. Simpson thing. Just take it. Quit crying.')

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

A great last minute Christmas present for the Simpsons fans in your family. It's cheap, fast, and you don't even have to wrap it because who the hell cares?

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

'How Far Can YOU Throw A John Swartzwelder Book?'

(In the ad business we were taught to involve the reader personally in the ad - get them thinking about their personal slant on your product. As in:

'What John Swartzwelder Book Pisses YOU Off The Most?

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

THIS CHRISTMAS DON'T FORGET THAT RICH WRITERS NEED YOUR MONEY TOO.
WELL, NOT 'NEED'. 'WANT'.

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

If you're looking for the perfect Thanksgiving gift, you've come to the wrong place.
(But it's good any other time.)

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

You'd be surprised how many copies of 'Dead Detective Mountain' you can buy for a thousand dollars:
Fifty.

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

This year show everyone on your Christmas list what a cheap bastard you are, and how little you care.

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…

Never mind The Simpsons. What about me?

amazon.com/Dead-Detective…