Found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself What Would Jesus Do? So I took it and magically turned it into wine at the Grocery store.

14 years on Twitter. #MyXAnniversary

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein
#WednesdayMotivation

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, 'A beer, please... and one for the road.'

'If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?'

Eclipse glasses for sale... Slightly used.

Good Saturday morning to all!

Simple kit.
#earthquake

Why is it that cheese appears to be healthier when it’s not melted?
#goodnight

It's bed time. Time to go over today's scenarios... The high and the low points.

What happens if you tell a duck an Easter joke?
They'll quack up.
#EasterBunny
#easter2024

Happy Easter to all!

The purpose of a lock is to turn the door into a wall.

Saturday... When adding whiskey to your coffee is NOT frowned upon.
#SaturdayVibes

A mistake that makes you humble is better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.
#SaturdayMotivation

Good Friday to all.

Good moooooorning.....
Wishing you a beautiful Sunday morning filled with joy, peace, and blessings! May today be a day of rest, reflection, and renewal.
#SundayBlessings #sundayvibes

Cat: 'I'm purr-fectly Irish today!
Happy St. Patrick's Day🍀🍺 #StPatricksDay

That Chandler though.

Savor the peace of a Sunday morning... a perfect time to reflect, recharge, and plan a week full of possibilities. Wishing you all a wonderful day! #SundayMotivation