If you're having trouble remembering everyone's pronouns, there's a little trick I noticed: if they are male, use 'he/him', if they are female, use 'she/her'. I guarantee you will be right at least 9 times out of 10.

If this helped you, buy my book.

Introverts shut down when they're going through shit. They want no sympathy. No advice. No 'fixing'. All they want is silence & solitude. They know how to pull themselves out. Just leave them alone for a while.

Ray’s wife Dawn could still use the donations as the bills do not go away even though her beloved husband has gone.

gofundme.com/f/ray-gartonbe…

Who you are when your check engine light comes on is the real you

we’re all a little fucked up but some people hide it better

Good to know our college educated folks are totally sane and civil

Mentally I'll reply to a text, and forget to send the message

You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Make the Kentucky Derby really fun by having the owners of the horses run the track while being beaten by jockeys.

Acceptance doesn’t mean approval, but it is the very thing that allows you to get unstuck and move through tough situations.

take your cheech & chong asses to church

Sundays are for scrolling and judging like God intended.

I never forgive anyone for anything. I will still be holding a grudge for an hour after I'm dead. Like how a rattlesnake head keeps biting after its cut off of his body

I don't dress for women. I don't dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

We're sweet, until we're not

I would absolutely end a human for trying to hurt or steal my dog. No debate necessary.

Well well well, looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Crime Scene Tape.

I've reached the age where passing out on the couch has nothing to do with being drunk