Why do all Cleveland cop cars look like they were purchased at auction??!

We out here!

I love to drive my car with the top down in the rain.

WE DRESS HUNTERS & PIMPS

The first game of the baseball season is every bit as exciting as the 50th when you're still not a third of the way through

😂 AT TARGET

Her: I need a gift for my cousin's wedding. She's registered here.

Him: Nice. My cousin's a registered sex offender. He doesn't get gifts.

I don't lick envelopes cuz I'm scared someone will use my DNA to clone me & then my own clone might attack me & I hate myself enough already.

NOOOO I'm crying! 😂 😂 But well deserved!! Congrats champ! AD_99

Taking only one trip thru an all u can eat buffet is like paying a hooker to talk.

Women when he's covered in red flags:

Why do pregnancy tests read positive and negative? It's confusing since a negative test is a positive outcome.

This is Joyce, Richard’s wife. Thank you for your loving tributes. He would be beyond thrilled and so touched, as am I. In response to the many queries , I know Richard would appreciate donations in his memory to the Los Angeles based charity comedygivesback.com or the…

Buds 💖

Hip replacement maybe...

Does orgy count as 'event'? Cuz duh...