In crazy times like this it’s important to remember to focus on more peaceful times like 9/11

If you needed any evidence that reincarnation is real, Nicole Brown Simpson proved it by coming back as prostate cancer. #ojsimpson

From behind?

I can't eat two similar things in one day. Like, if I eat Subway for lunch I can't have poop for dinner.

I want to go back to a time when squatting only referred to how women have to pee

4:30am is a magical hour where the people who have their shit together and people who absolutely don’t have their shit together become one on the streets.

Loneliness makes you do crazy things like hang out with people

You shouldn’t keep giving all that head with a gag reflex this sensitive

Who’s hosting #SNL tonight? #shanegillis

Someone: Happy Valentine’s Day, Kristen

Me:

Hey friends and enemies, watch video episodes of my podcast Kristen, Chill where we talk about neuroses, a little mental health and overthinking everyday etiquette on YouTube. First guest back after 3 years Dan Naturman. youtu.be/IhBIC76wQaM?si…

Thank you The MLC Podcast for the Bumble love connection. I should cry on podcasts more often.

The odds of coming across someone capable of nuanced thought today is about the same odds as getting struck by lightning

I didn’t know you could see my butt here??

Doing a livestream for my podcast Kristen, Chill that I’m bringing back from the dead tonight at 7pm EST. It’s my first time so be gentle (“That’s what she said” - someone in the comments probably)

youtube.com/live/z8pCPO6jA…

teefaircloth Eli Braden Yeah things really got closer to a utopia once we buried my mom you’re right

Speaking like an old person who doesn’t use the right internet words is a badge I wear proudly. The less connected to this time in history I am, the better.

Every time someone logs onto this platform they lose another piece of their soul which explains why no one has one anymore

Does this mean I’m officially in the “dabbleverse”?

I pray you never find someone that breaks the last piece of you that wasn’t broken.