Actors/acting are/is corny

What is it about public transit, that no matter what I'm eating, nobody wants to sit next to me.

When people say 'I'm lucky to exist at the same time as _____'

There are as many people on earth today as there ever have been nearly ever. Our odds of existing at all were at their best for exactly this over-crowded Anthropocene.

I'm just saying it didn't require much luck.

In terms of what a great band should be, Trash Talk may be the best.

The Secret Lives of the Freemasons walked so Koyo could run

This must be what they mean by 'imitation' crab meat

My pinky is killing me? I must capitalize a lot.

In the future, nobody knows where these social media platforms come from, but they are filled with AI content engaging with itself. There aren't any real people on these platforms, yet advertisers clamor to participate. If you would like to preview this future, log into facebook.

Merry Crisis

There really is a ton of redundant design out there. If we get replaced by templates and AI, maybe we deserve it.

Does this season suck? It kind of does, right?

My dentist seems interested in hiring me. He proposed bartering local ads for... wisdom tooth removal

ever notice how a lot of couples look like siblings

I live the kind of problematic lifestyle that affords hiring a landscaper to install a beautiful stone patio that I have literally no time to enjoy 😵‍💫

rude lyrics by skinny guys = yep

mean lyrics by skinny guys = well...

violent lyrics by skinny guys = here's your peanut power plus with an extra scoop of protein, do you want your receipt?

More like Kanye South

Net 45 is such a power move. The work is generally completed in less time. So disrespectful.

Gonna wait it out for a Pantera tour announcement. Can't deal with the Metallica ticket prices 😩

If you don't spring for the best seats at the concert, despite the price tag, your worst client ever wins

the new metallica song is actually kinda sick