- what time is dinner?
- well, i’m aiming for ‘when it’s f**king ready’ o’clock...

The Holland sea of flowers in full bloom. Over 30 million tulips.

'I don't want life to go back to normal, I want it to go back to better.'
bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-eng…

That a large chunk of the nation got duped by a few millionaire tax avoiders, who either didn't live here or have subsequently left to spend more time with their money, doesn't say much good about us. That those people still defend it is embarrassing.

Poverty the G7 leaders should but won't see when they visit Cornwall - Cornwall Live cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-…

The HAPPIEST of birthdays to the great Barry Cryer! National treasure, joke machine, getting a phone call from him is the equivalent of getting an Oscar and a telegram from the Queen. Let's get him trending!! #BarryCryer #BazCryer Barry Cryer

Us in a nutshell.

#WeBeginAtTheEnd by ⁦Chris Whitaker⁩ . The prose is so beautiful it hurts. I finished this a week ago and I still don’t know where to turn. Highest recommendation.

- i think i’ll take a risk and wait for my jab. i want to see the evidence that this vaccine is safe first. my body is precious to me — anyway, i’ll have this litre of vodka and 40 silkcut please...

#RailsToRecovery We're opening Buckfastleigh station site on 12 April. Gardens, workshops, riverside picnic area, playground, Lee Moor Tramway museum & more will be open & many of our locos & coaches will be on display. #Open all w/c 12/4 then every Tue, Thur, Sat & Sun #Devon

With our full range of products currently in-stock, delivery available across mainland UK, and a bonus 20% off all orders over £25, what are you waiting for!

#onlinefoodshop #britishpork #outdoorreared

- mummy, did you miss me when i went back to school last week?
- well if you mean ‘do i miss doing all that homeschooling’ then no. but if you mean ‘do i miss spending time with you’ then that’s also no...

Everyone should know the international sign for Help me. Let’s make this famous #HelpMe

To put this into context:

The budget for the entire department of health and social care for 2019/2020 was £140 billion. That includes:

Employing >1 million staff
Millions of operations
Millions of consultations

The NHS remains good value for money

nhsproviders.org/media/689303/n…

Y6: 'Miss, will you make us a Shrek beanie please?'

Mrs Dowie: 'When we get out of lockdown, I’ll make the whole of Y6 a Shrek beanie!'

Government: 'Children will return to school on 8th March'

Mrs Dowie: 🤦‍♀️

😂😂😂

I have only once written a personal column in ⁦Private Eye Magazine⁩ in 29 years. It explains why I have very strong views about people seeking help when they have suicidal thoughts, and those they seek help from listening and taking them seriously. Suicide isn’t painless.

There’s a child who thought her mother was coming home today after five years. But another trial is announced for next Sunday. Maybe that means our government has a week to figure out how to make the right thing happen?
I know we are all sending love to that family.
#FreeNazanin

Political optics aside, can anyone explain to me why a couple who want to do up their flat aren’t paying for it themselves? #DowningStreet

I’d always assumed that swimming in reservoirs was banned because it’s a bit gross people swimming in the drinking water (or something). This article makes a great case for it. (Nothing to do w grossness or safety: seems to be mainly legal anxiety about landowners getting sued)