Hey Mr. Sleep Paralysis Demon, how bout you parala MY ASS!

It me, a hardened veteran of the Pizza Wars. I’m on my 5th tour.

Anime would be so much shorter if every dude didn't explain how their powers worked. Dawg I do not want a monologue about how you can teleport your individual limbs into my body just kill me

Crazy to think we have analytics and it used to just be some guy who knew the vibe.

I’m a sympath. Can’t help but feel bad for all of you

This morning I put on sock, underwear, sock, so today is gonna be a weird one.

Thank god I don’t give enough of a shit about Wordles to even figure out what they are.

How do you tell someone on the MAX that the music they are blasting on their shitty speakers sucks ass without starting a confrontation?

Another gender swapped movie come out.
Bro: My mancestors wouldn’t have stood for this and neither will I!

terrible comedians performing in unsafe conditions at the peak of the pandemic is the funniest thing they’ve ever done

So cases of COVID are spiking 5 days after New Years. None of ya’ll stayed home huh, everybody had to go party. If that was you I hope you can never taste champagne again.

Has anyone explained to Joe Biden he’s the President now and not the Vice President? Somebody tell his he can actually do things that matter now, I don’t think he knows.

Everybody talking about how mad Elmo is getting meanwhile Rocko is over here like

Instead of saying 'wait for it' maybe just edit out the boring first half of your video?

I see a man exit a club on the street. I approach and pull a knife “gimme all your apes” I growl. “Not again” he whimpers “I just got these apes and…” he trails off. I leave, too disgusted by his pitifulness to go through with it.

Like, how did that guys apes even get stolen? How would you even know how to do it? Is there a YouTube tutorial I could watch?

Wouldn’t be so funny then would it?

This worse than all the times somebody got eaten at the park.

Just constant vibe.

Just overheard at a restaurant. “I liked Hogans Hero’s as a kid but I don’t know if it would stand today, I’m pretty sure it’s just Americans constantly dunking on Germans.”

Man, the cultural insensitivity of giving those darn Nazis a ribbing, what were we thinking?