Paraphrase: dumb shit American redneck learns the rest of the world doesn’t give free passes just because he’s an American.

Can’t wait for the MAGA shit boycott of the Turks and Caicos because of this.

can't wait to celebrate the death and resurrection of 'jesus' by raw-dogging a whore who also snorts a line of cocaine off my cock

i bet the pope is getting one hell of a rimmie-J today

if jesus didn't believe in himself would that be blasphemy or low self-esteem?

Me after a Taco Bell binge:

cool story bro

reminder if you picked Kentucky please don’t flush your brackets

John Calipari’s Buyout:

$33 MILLION.

at least they got to 14

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #NCAABasketball

Guys I’m cryingggg

An extra special hello to my OnlyFans spam followers tonight. Can I see your shamrock for #SaintPatricksDay ? I’m too lazy to check the nudes in your bio.

Hey
Are
Not
Seeing

Kimchi
Right
In
Some
Timid
Idiot
And
Not

Got
Ready
And
Eat
Better
Nostradamus
Every
Roar

In
Such

Salivating
Tan
Orient
Never
Express
Try
Our
Stupid
Squid

trying to plan my buddy’s bachelor party in Pyongyang is tougher than I thought

today i am wearing brown for no special reason other than i shit myself after last night's taco bell binge

hey The Boeing Company The Boeing CompanyAirplanes your planes fucking suck and are death traps

jon oliver was 100% right on your shit company

If it's Boeing, I sure as fuck ain't going.

Poor guy blaming third party voters for his own party’s incompetence.