After 12 amazing years and 3 weeks of chaos, I’m officially fired by Twitter.

Never expected I would have stayed this long, and never expected I would be this relieved to be gone.

I have a lot of stories to tell. But to my fellow (ex-)tweeps-
#LoveWhereYouWorked 🫡

If I load your webpage, click in the search box and start typing, *then* you steal focus mid-entry somewhere else a second later: you're doing it wrong.

You can't buy respect.

Maybe if they just ran CCleaner on all the servers and checked all the boxes it'd all go faster.

Looks like I just got fired for shitposting too✌️

This is what happens when you fire everyone that could give you advice which would, hypothetically, stop you from embarrassing yourself in public.

'Your tracking number has shipped!'

'Do you mean my package has shipped?'

'No.'

As the owner (until today that is 🫡) of the Stitch library that handles batching at Twitter for most services, I find your assessment of the quality of the batching to be disingenuous at best, but more than likely, willfully ignorant.

As a Twitter engineer working on a number of those microservices, I'm predicting a massive outage in the next few days if 80% are turned down

to all my former teammates 🫡💙

we built some dope shit together and i am so fucking proud of our team and everything we did

twitter.com/jbell/status/1…