Naughty

The thing is he was a goalie so doesn't even have the excuse of heading the ball for his brain damage

Also, restore Record Review to Saturday mornings.

Dear Radio 3, bring back Lunchtime Concert, you bastards

AFTER LARKIN

The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said
It happens every *%$&ing year
I think I'm going back to bed

In which I meet Jah Wobble and embarrass myself
newstatesman.com/culture/life/2…

My annual reminder that I am actually older than Farage, and that both these people are twats

- I want the most French ambassador humanly possible
- no, that’s too French

America gave us Smashing Pumpkins. The UK gives us...

So glad I left London, this is terrifying

Just when you think it can't get any batter

'Toast or a shower?' is my 'cake or death?' Sort of.

STOP CHANGING THE COLOUR OF THE FLAG

Whenever I feel low, I perk myself up by remembering that Rod Liddle hates me

I have neither the height, the flexibilty, the nationality, or the militarism to do this but still

When a phone company - naming no names - asks me 'how likely would you be to recommend us' I would say of mine that they are so awful that I don't even like hearing the word 'phone' any more; or even the letter V, esp followed by 'oda'