Can't we deport sick people to Rwanda

a heart-breaking scene

Hold a chicken in the air
Lock a Tory in a room

In the future, everyone will lock a tory in a room for 15 minutes.

This has to be the single dodgiest Tory MP parliamentary behaviour story since last week

Who exactly held you hostage?

'Men'

What men?

things you’ll probably never see
- someone eating a pizza slice crust first
- ⁠Arsenal winning the Champions League

Phone just autocorrected The Wombles to “The Wombless” and now I’m desperate to watch Great Uncle Bulgaria build a fallopian tube from yogurt lids and bracken.

For balance, can Chris Mason interview the lettuce too please.

Why is Liz Truss?

My cartoon for Monday's @metrouk Metro Picture Desk #Australia Attack #Australia #racists

I know it's odd for a man, but I do like to file my nails

Hello! The below news means I need more writing work - I’ve taken the liberty of including my writing CV. Available for all the writing gigs: if you need help polishing your Fringe show, a wedding speech, or maybe you’re a telly person in need of someone… mathew-owen.co.uk

Here's a Private Eye Magazine #cartoon #redraw for #NationalPetDay Available here: chrisbeetles.com/artist/537/jon…

'Down, boy...'

Bridie Nolan, barrister for Sall Grover in landmark women’s rights case #TicklevGiggle , dismantles applicant’s case that Roxy Tickle is ‘psychologically’ a woman 💥💥💥

“What is a woman, if thinking one is a woman, means one is a woman? A woman is not a thought.

The…

Even if water does 'remember' the medicine, blood would soon forget it - because blood's thicker than water

#HomeopathyAwarenessWeek

Why do they make the pizzas round when the boxes are square?

[as eclipse ends]

Sun: So you'll call me, yeah?

Moon [putting on trousers]: uh-huh...

Hairy Bikers, Dave Myers Memorial Rideout.

Full 4k On Our Channel

A honey trap or a sting? Most likely the work of a cagey bee agent.