People who change you are not for you.

Every lick of
Your word
Makes me
Thirstier for
More
🖤

#Pemsmuses
♥️ReD LovE♥️

Eminem [performing Concerto in D Minor]: Hey kids, do you like violins?

Didn’t know I could offend someone by saying Dean Martin was better than Frank Sinatra, but here we are.

Coffee brewing
Bacon sizzling
It’s going to be
A great day!

Facial recognition didn’t recognize me while I was squishing around mouthwash. It’s the little wins.

I can literally tell by the type of reply you send me as to whether or not you're my kind of person.

It's as simple as that.

I accidentally replied to a tweet with a kissy face emoji so now we're going to have to get married.

my brain: the art of letting go.
the heart: let's not.

them: how time flies.
plank: try me, babe.

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything, be courageous you will win

Thinking of you and wanted to say hi hope your day is going well

Some people just like the idea of you, not the real you..fuck those people

I bring a real “sorry I fell asleep” energy to the chat that the girl I’m tryna holler at ain’t too keen on.

When you meet someone who tries their hardest to stick by you regardless of how difficult you are, keep them. Keep them at all costs - because finding someone who cares enough to look past your flaws isn't something that happens every day.
#thoughts

The woman in the apartment under me is banging on the ceiling because my little 6 pound puppy was humping her bed against the wall.

Carry on. As you were. No biggie. I’ll just bounce the ball a few times to relax.

These first hours of the early morning when i’m still awake and no one else around me are the only reason i’m still sane.

Fortunate favors the bold...nah, man, fortune favors the stubborn

At this point in my life if the apocalypse started I would probably be like ‘whatever’

Imagine not noticing you have a half eaten donut stuck to your beard, but here we are and my wife is pointing and laughing at me.