The little boy in ET liked doing caricatures of Paul Chuckle but the girl who played his sister drew Barry more

Like my old dad never said. If fishes were wishes, you'd jump in a pond and drown.

Birdhouse in Your Soul necessitates the existence of bird shit on the floor of your soul, They Might Be Giants But They Didn't Think That One Through.

How do you ask someone politely to stop abusing the kindness of someone else, when they probably don't realise it is causing so many problems, and financial issues without ending up being the bad person on both sides?

Can you accept my invitation so I can get a free gift worth up to $80? 🎁
temu.com/u/RdQ8BORDvBtj…

Han Solo working up a quick boner before frozen in carbonite to fuck with Jabba

If you're at a concert and the singer holds the mic out and makes you sing the lyrics you should get some of your money back.

Charlie Chuck is the British Christopher Walken and now I want to see them in a buddy movie playing reunited twins.

Did you know in the olden days before calculators were invented all rich people had a personal math guy that followed them around to tell them the answer, he would also say boobies if you turned him upside down

For science, could anyone born this century tell me when 'the late nineteenth century' starts?

Love is love. No one should face discrimination because of who they are or whom they love.

Congress must pass and send me the Equality Act. It’s time we codified protections for the LGBTQI+ community.

I worry about the lid licking part of this mostly.

It takes a hell of a lot of nerve for a 3rd generation Italian immigrant (Ron DeSantis) to point his finger and tell people to get the fuck out of “his” country — wouldn’t you agree?

Signed,
A 3,333rd generation Indigenous American 🪶

20 years ago today, Tommy Wiseau’s ‘THE ROOM’ was released.

💙💙💙💙💙💙

Oh hi Mark

⚡️🇬🇧Britain will not lift sanctions against 🇷🇺Russia until Russia pays compensation to 🇺🇦Ukraine' - the British Foreign Ministry said.

The vote is go. Hopefully this puts an end to Johnson's populist lies and deceits. #PrivilegesCommitteeReport

#BorisTheLiar