Are you still god? It’s me, watching

You won’t be on my level until you admit you also wore knee high converse in high school

Hey those are my emotional support sauce packets at the bottom of a drawer. By law I need them

Honestly Slack is protecting us from ourselves by not letting us name group chats

Me as a child (ignorant): mama Mia is so stupid why would anyone make a musical about Abba the plot is so ridiculous
Me now (enlightened): it’s camp 😏

Nathan Fielder is the sociopath Kris Jenner of comedy (kindly)

Why did Annie never ask if I was ok?

Babe are you ok? You’ve barely liked any of my tweets today.

Babe are you ok?

So, babe are you ok? Are you ok, babe?

Babe are you ok? So, babe are you ok? Are you ok, babe?

Babe are you ok? So, babe are you ok? Are you ok, babe?

Babe are you ok? Won’t you tell us that you’re ok?
I’ve sent a bunch of texts and you’re not answering.

If my wedding isn’t cursed with at least one glee version of a song, then I’m not getting married

drinking coffee and lacroix as god intended

Marketing tip but specifically for a show that has a 4th season about to air: post about it today. It’ll either go over really well, or really terribly. Either way… marketing #starwar

#PerfectDate

Colby and Madlyn really had Walter White and Jesse Pinkman levels of hero to villain and vis versa arch’s going on. That was a wild ride #UltimatumNetflix #TheUltimatium

What opaque wine glass company got this insane contract with Netflix to be used in every one of their reality shows?

Shakespeare Theater Kids giving the same vibes as Disney Adults

Can’t wait to be successful enough to where I can have a funny Instagram bio and not a functional one with a linktree

LA roads really do be “choose your own speed limit”

Oh no we’re going to get so many Selena Kyle at the club Halloween costumes this year aren’t we? Party better bulk order some pink wigs #TheBatman #Catwoman

I started watching #TheHills and every time Audrina is on screen I get a fight or flight response because she looks exactly like every girl who bullied me 2006-2008