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When I would hear “How is this possible?!?” as a kid, it meant Goku was doing something impressive, but if I hear it as an adult it’s usually someone learning they’re broke.

This whole eclipse glasses situation once again marginalizes the “doesn’t plan ahead” community, incidentally the only people who actually appreciate beauty.

Lavender seems mostly like a technology of delegation, a way to distance one’s self from civilian casualties and targeting decisions. McNamaraism is back, and it’s as stupid and evil as ever.

Oh, it’s in the BIO?!?

Editing AI-generated copy would feel too much like wiping a robot's ass.

Pickleball Crane

Two people I work with are secretly dating. They didn’t know I knew, so today I asked the guy in the elevator, “Hey, y’all are close so I wanted to run this by you, if I asked out Co-Worker, how do you think she’d take it?” Very fun.

“How’m I supposed to breathe with no air?” Yea, you ever think about that, stupid?

Netflix gave me this one a few years ago.

I wrote about the knock-down, drag-out fight unfolding at Mercedes's auto plant in Alabama. “Mercedes is our best organizer,” Jeremy Kimbrell, who has worked at the plant for twenty-four years, told me. “They did it to themselves.” jacobin.com/2024/03/uaw-or…

Favorite thing about reality tv is getting to walk out into the living room and learning my roommate is completely over, fed up, with a woman I’m seeing for the first time.

Making sure everyone reads kate wagner’s absolutely terrific — a genuinely all-time, Grantland, SBN-in-its-heyday, talk about it 10 years later-style joy to read — F1 article that was mysteriously removed from Road & Track’s website shortly after pub web.archive.org/web/2024030117…

Mom said that me and my stepsister are coexecutors on her and my stepdad’s will and I said tell her I look forward to working with her.

Show tonight at Union hall tickets below

There are famous people who I'm not sure if they're alive anymore and I'm not looking.

My country ass hollering across the office “Y’all talkin’ bout SHOW-GUN?”