POLE POSITION

See you soon Pasadena!

You gotta love the argument that someone is way too busy and distracted to go to trial for a pile of felonies.

That is BRILLIANT! I used to be a stepmom, and when the kid and I were hanging out, sometimes we'd have a Barbie-Q ™️

We'd melt dolls over the grill and then smoosh the body parts together in new and wonderful ways.

I miss being a mom 🥹

OMG. Remember what we used to do to those?

#Scabbyhead

Never has FFS ever been so appropriate.

SO THERE'S STILL TIME!!!♥️💋

My Vagina got mentioned in The New Yorker, The New Yorker ⭐️ I am feeling quite accomplished. newyorker.com/magazine/2023/…

Uhlmans in Westboro!!!

Fraud alert hi! storm large is a big fucking lying sack of not me. Please swarm and dissolve them. Thank you!

We love Medford! Just waiting on them to find a spot for us ♥️

Thank you, Seattle. Let's have a lot more makeup shows for any or no reason. That was nuts. Also, yeah, The Dress. The fucking dress. 🔥

Ugh...remember MySpace? You would post something really important to you or kinda vulnerable, and some chode would comment 'FIRST' 🙄 Some people just have to pee everywhere...like rodents.

Just a reminder to everyone saying that Mike Pence did anything brave on January 6th...among the multiple panicky phone calls he made, hoping that he COULD give it to his boss, Dan Quayle was the one who talked him out of it. Den Quayle.

Me on soooo many dates.

I've found that many are down to go up on you, though...😘

Oooh and then there's THIS one!

'Mommy is that our new Daddy? He looks scary.'

Mommy: 'Be nice he brought beer.'

Looking for river toys and found this gem: '.....although also taken off the market for people drowning in...' 😳 It also runs out of air in 20 minutes and will cook you up quickly. FUN!

A dude who tried to run his truck through a Pride parade in PDX turned out to be a registered sex offender of a similar slimy stripe. Weird huh.