Village Person (@SvnSxty )

Village Person

Bio Usually here for the dad jokes Im told I should mention Im Canadian

Tweets 28,0K
Followers 5,6K
Following 2,7K
Account created 18-07-2019 22:44:06
ID 1151986026706903041

Android : if i had the ego of a talentless, trustfund baby who makes it using daddyโ€™s connections and the work ethic of my immigrant parents, who moved to a country halfway across the world, started their own business and worked long hours almost every single day, iโ€™d be unstoppable

Android : Got home. Pulled off my dress. Started laundry. Walked around the house in leggings & a bra. Remembered I need to take a pic out front for my husband. Stepped outside & took the pic. Realized I was standing in my front yard in a bra.

Itโ€™s cool. Itโ€™s fine. Iโ€™m fine.

Android : Him: what should we call the hat store

Her: hat store?

Him [nods]: hat store.

Me: ha- [i fall down 107 stairs and speak as i fall] -berdashery

Android : โ€œPlease use your indoor voices,โ€ I coo to my children, whilst internally screaming โ€œSHUT the gawd damned motherfucking FUCK up!โ€ because Iโ€™m not a jerk, yโ€™know?

Android : I did not anticipate getting cock-blocked by two Chihuahuas to be the most upsetting part of this week but here we are.

Android : โ€œGo forth into the world, my children, and let ye not forget: whilst thou may catch more flies with honey, thou will undoubtedly catch more honeys being fly.โ€

-Jesus, probably