sorry I was gone for a while, I’ve been busy

just told someone in North Carolina that “I’m a Pisces” and they clutched their crucifix

it’s impossible to not smile when you refuse to let someone merge out of an exit lane they don’t want to take. Forcing a man to go West, when he so desperately wants to go East, is truly one of the greatest feelings in the world

getting arrested by the Air Marshall for forcing my way into the cockpit and asking him to honk the horn

*watching Ryan Gosling in the Barbie trailer* he’s literally me

why does proper grammar make me anxious. don’t you dare end a text to me with a period.

for the record I think that tonight’s episode of The Last of Us is one of the best episodes of television that has ever aired. It somehow conveyed more emotion in less than 90 minutes than some series ever did over the course of a decade

THE NATIONAL ANTHEM (COVER)

rooting for the Bengals purely because Joe Burrow was in my 2nd grade class and came to my birthday party at the bowling alley

my life goal is to buy LinkedIn and make it a haven for tumblr porn gifs

The NieR Automata anime is perfect. 10/10 no notes

BLINK 182 - I MISS YOU (COVER)

making my boss’ voodoo doll listen to Radiohead on repeat so they spiral into depression

the Citizen App is so hilarious man it’s like Pokémon Go except for vigilantes

about to partake in my favorite pastime; getting 14 beers deep and chopping a lot of vegetables as fast as humanly possible

Never understood the 5G conspiracies until I drove through Kansas and only had 2G data. They thought we skipped 3 whole G’s man I’d be calling bullshit too

Writing-off the 300,000 ice cold beers I drank this year as a business expense

just got kicked out of a Wisconsin bar for playing Barbie Girl 13 times in a row on the jukebox. Free speech is under attack in america